Setting The Right Boundaries With Romantic Relationships
If anyone can warn you about boundaries and relationships, it’s me. I’m not going to give you my whole life story or anything of course, but I want to tell you about the importance of setting boundaries. Furthermore, you don’t set them after you’ve already established a relationship. You set them when the opportunity presents itself, right away. For sure, there will continuous chances to set different types of boundaries and you need to be careful.
The very beginning is what is most important because it’s going to have everything to do with the type of connection that you establish. Have you ever started off a relationship without setting certain boundaries? It’s happened to almost everyone, but some people do it over and over again in different ways. In fact, everyone does this, based on certain dysfunctional qualities. Yes, we all have them.
People look for certain things in a person, some are healthy things and some are not. Each person has his or her own idea of what makes up the right partner. I can tell you that after many years, I realised I was looking at relationships of all kinds in ways that I shouldn’t be. I wasn’t setting boundaries and I was allowing myself to look for the same co-dependent qualities in relationships every time. It wasn’t good and after realising it, I started working on looking at relationships differently.
It’s not that all my relationships were bad, but I’m telling you part of my story so that you’ll understand why you need to examine your own relationships to make sure you’re setting boundaries. When there are problems you can see, you need to take action. Just because certain boundaries are crossed doesn’t mean you need to necessarily break things off. It all depends on what is actually going on behind the scenes, why the boundary was crossed.
Each situation is different, but to find true love, you’re going to have to have a relationship with healthy boundaries. Certain boundaries are concrete for all healthy relationships, but then others are more specific and individual to different people’s relationships. One thing you definitely don’t want to find yourself in is an abusive relationship.
Unfortunately, relationships can be complicated. People are social and need others and sometimes they don’t always look for the right people. I’m guilty, and perhaps you are, too. With each new relationship opportunity, make sure you set boundaries.